Though she be but little!

 

i always wonder if i was meant to be

a soft girl

god gave me thick square toes

and my daddy’s long brow

deep voice       square hips

my laugh is harsh like gravel

 

maybe i’m a strong girl

bone plated armor

blood stained steel

fighting for my rights

shrieking for my rights

but i never wanted to be

       loud

 

daddy’s girl tomboy baby

when i was a squiggletooth

toddler i dreamed of

hammerhead sharks at night

 

puberty made me angry

crave charbroiled

barbecue flesh

boys knew me for my    punches

loud mouth

dirty mouth

bloody mouth

 

i never knew i wanted to be small until

age sixteen    i start binding my breasts

politely skipping meals

softening my skin

with lilac lotion

 

i liked when people called me tiny

little girl baby girl

itty bitty princess

slowly becoming addicted

to rosy  pigments and hues

 

i wrap my stetchmarked thighs

in white satin

painted with rose vines

fill in the dents under my eyes

white soft glitter

try to shut my mouth

be the silent type

poetic beauty

like the sliver lipped girls

  i’m in love with

 

and i’ve grown STRONGER

it’s made my anger LOUDER

and here i am FIGHTING

for my RIGHT to be BEAUTIFUL

i’ve become an amazon

in the fight for love

so fierce in my gentle nature

that i am GLOWING

holding other little girls in my arms like

the last bit of sanity i can hold onto

 

maybe god meant for me to be a

strong girl

bare my shield against the

forces of dried out winters

but i never wanted to be big

 

kill them with kindess

is what my mommy told me

i never wanted to kill anyone

to tell the truth

but i’ve never felt

more brutal

than when my heart is pumping

with the love of a mother

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